Well...

...the good news is the doc ok'd PIO until after the beta.

The not-so-good-news is 4dpt (9dpo) not a single pregnancy symptom. With my other pregnancies I had symptoms after 7dpo.

I'm trying not to worry, but it's difficult not to. In the back of my mind I also stress over how we'll afford another cycle, as most of our insurance has been used up. I don't think Bonei Olam will help as my husband earns too much (but sadly also owes much more). One thought we had was for me to move to Israel and get treatment there. My husband could possibly work out there for 6 months, but after that he'd want to come back here.

So many questions! I hope you, dear reader, are having a much happier time. If not, I've just baked some delicious chocolate Brownies and I'm happy to share them with you.

A pulling out hair moment

Well, it would be if I had much under my sheital.

G-d willing we transfer tomorrow. However, when checking the procedure time with one of the nurses, I was informed that after transfer I'm off PIO injections and only take Prometrium.

Now most people would be happy being told to stop stabbing themselves with a needle 2x a day, but not me. My last cycle failed because for some reason my body refused to absorb Prometrium. Nobody can explain why, it just didn;t.

As much as I loathe the injections, I feel that they are a tried and tested way of delivering the hormone. Yes, there is research that says gel etc does just a good a job, but it simply doesn't work for me.

I hope the doc will see it my way and continue with the PIO. I don't want to argue with her, but the clinic seem adamant that it stops after transfer. We'll have to wait until the morning to find out.

FYI

For those of you who haven't experienced it, OHSS is painful. Very painful.

Until the OHSS, this cycle was pretty uneventful. Now I'm curled up in bed, finding every movement painful.

Please Hashem, let this treatment work. I can't keep on going through this.

Here we go...again

Well, I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that very little has been going on here in Unfriendly Town. Living in Beis NAJM is about exciting as watching alfalfa grow. Possibly even less so.

Lots of people have had babies. Of course I'm not among those people.

I quit my job.

We went from being up to the eye balls in debt to being way way over our heads ( me not working didn't exactly improve matters).

I consider leaving my marriage at least once a day.

I have 2 new best friends. Their names are Zoloft and Xanax.

So, in the midst of all this, what's the most logical thing to do? Yes, thats right START ANOTHER IVF CYCLE!!!

Back to Reality

After a few fuzzy happy days, thinking I might actually be pregnant, everything starts to go wrong. This morning I woke up with bad cramps, went to the bathroom and found I was bleeding.

I mean really bleeding, not the mild sounding "implantation spotting" I'd been told of, but bright red, heavy bleeding that still hasn't stopped. It's not bad enough for an ER visit, and no way I'm calling the KGB clinic tonight. It's doubtful they'd get back to me anyway. I called a few times last week after they failed to call us with an update on the freezing of our 3 unused embies. I'm sure the only time they will call is to collect payment.

I almost wish it were a little heavier so we could go to ER, and then at least they could do an u/s and blood tests to give us at least some idea of whats going on. I keep doing Internet searches, but come up with nothing relevant to bleeding so much 5dpt.

Guess I'm just a freak.

Only One?

Transfer was yesterday. Thank G-d, it went well. The KGB Clinic kept us waiting over an hour after the appointment time, with no news of how many had survived, or without discussing the number we would like to be transferred. Communicating with clients is not important for them.

Finally we were taken through, and after about 20 mins the Doc walks in and tells us that 4 made it, with 2 very good and 2 okish embryos. He then announced that today he would transfer the 2 good ones and could we sign on the dotted line as he's running late. Much to his surprise I refused to have 2 transferred, and asked for just one. The Doc looked at me as if I'd grown two heads. "Remind me", he said, "how many kids to you have already?". Now dear reader, I'm sitting in an IVF clinic, with a doctor who was supposed to be in charge of my case, and he asks me that? Does this man ever read notes? Or perhaps he lacks the ability to retain basic information. "None" I replied, "but if you look at my medical history you'd fully understand why twins could result in a very high risk situation."

I'm 35, very overweight, and have a condition that could lead to many complications in pregnancy. I've also worked in Early Intervention for the past 7 years, and have come across so many twins who were preemies and behind in their development. Much as I would love to have twins, medically it's just not a good idea. Still the doctor pressed on, with 2 embryos transferred I'd have a 50% chance of pregnancy, and only 35% chance with one. It was a tough decision, but transferring one felt like the best option.

The actual transfer went ok. I was yelled at because in the hour wait I had no choice but to make a bathroom visit. There is no way I could hold a full bladder for the two hours we were there.

One good thing about the 5 day transfer is that it cuts down the dreaded 2ww to 9 days. I'm scheduled for a blood test next Wednesday.

Still feels like a long, anxious wait.

Stressed :(

Well, 18 follicles, 11 eggs rettreived resulting in 8 embryos.

However, the KGB Clinic decided to do a 5 day blatocyst transfer without informing us of the risks to the embryos. I had no idea, but most don't make it to 5 days, and it's even possible to end up with none. They also don't freeze/ thaw as well. I sent off an email this morning, asking for an update.

Can you believe this?

Still waiting...