...for every mazel tov (or shana tova) I've given over the last few weeks, well, I'd actually be able to pay my medical bills (as opposed to stuffing them into a draw with the rest of their evil friends).
Yes, dear reader, the baby dust has been liberally sprinkled onto everyone but me. At work my manager is stressing as 3 special ed teachers are due in the summer. The office isn't that big, so it's a chunk of the workforce. In the local Jewish community, well, it could just be a spring thing, but I seem to be surrounded by women in materity clothes. But, the two which have really been hard were a couple of baby boys born to women who's weddings' I attended with my husband. Why haven't we been blessed with kinderlach so quickly and easily?
To add to my misery (and to my already crazy chocolate consumption), its been a year since I had my miscarriage. So for all those who said "you'll get pregnant again soon! I/ My Sister/ Daughter/ etc had a miss, and two/ three/ etc months later was pregnant again!" Well, how wrong you were...
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It took me 3 years into marrige to get pregnant. At first I didn't really mind, I wasn't in a rush. But once I started to notice pregnant women all around me ( and in a frum community, how can you not!) I started to get very depressed. The worst was walking into shul, knowing that everyones eyes were on your stomach, and just knowing that they were thinking "Nebach . ." Grrrr! B"H I now have 2 beautiful kids. . .there is hope!
hi hon, I'm in your boat. MC'd about 4 months ago and everyone I know is pregnant. Also Orthodox. Just know you're not alone....shavuah tov, urban
Oh, if I had a bar of chocolate for everyone who told me 'this happened to me, just like you, and then look who happy it turned out!' - oh, and add that to the nice, foamy chai latte I'd get for every 'Hashem only gives you challenges you can overcome,' well, all of that = enough chocolate and foamy chais to get me through the week.
Plus some good therapy, and I'm all set.
I think people just don't like to look past their happy moments to really, truly focus on the fact that someone's in a rough spot. You can look up the road ('and look how well things turn out'), you can look up ('Hashem only gives this to people who can'), you can use someone else's misfortune to let you feel smug about your own position ('nebach, that poor dear')...
or you can stop and really spend a moment relating to the person. Most of the time when I speak to people, I try to avoid talking about the medical stuff, because I know that all too often, they're thinking 'Thank G-d that's not ME!'
Sigh.
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