How do I manage to mess my life up so very often? The latest is that over the summer I was offered a good job teaching high school. I really don't use my yiddish much anymore, and this would give me a chance to use it again. I had a test lesson today, which just flopped. I was also told that personally I'm much too quiet and need more 'snap'. The school is much more MO than the ones I've been to, and I guess their teaching methods are are bit different. The result is that they still want me to teach (how many yiddish teachers are available a week before school starts?), but will help me with teaching methods.
I'm going to turn it down, as nice as they were, it seems more hassle than its worth, and the money wasn't too good. However, I told my other job that I wasn't coming back last week. 40 + hours a week was just too much. They were less than happy. Yep, I burnt those bridges good and proper.
My husband has serious debts from his first marriage/ divorce (which he neglected to tell me about before we married), and he's annoyed that I managed to lose two jobs, and will have little or no income.
Part of me is relieved, those of us who are TTC know what a drain on time it is. Appointments, follow up calls, plus feeling sick from all the drugs they merrily inject into your body.
I feel so stupid, trapped and angry at myself. We need that money- what was I thinking when I turned down one job and left another.
Do I need more money, or just much more bitochen?
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2 comments:
Oh wow that sure can be tough! My sister had a similar experience where she taught in one school and was miserable there. At the end she decided to leave and look for something else. She spent the whole summer looking for something and also a week before school she got offered a job in a different school. She taught there last year and it was amazing! She loved it and was very successful. Sometimes, what seems like a slap, ends up being a love tap. Hopefully, you will find something even better. Good luck!
Wow, my heart and prayer is with you! May you be zocheh to Zaru chaya shel K'yuma really soon! Can't wait to hear that you're pregnant again!
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