It happened when I was (an older) single, and now as a nebbech IF married couple. The phone rings- could we move in for Shabbos/ a few days/ a week to look after the children while the parents go away. We got such a call yesterday, to move in over Shabbos to babysit 3 kids (two with psychological problems). Since we've started our first IVf cycle and have enough to deal with, I said no, but was finally guilty tripped into it.
I didn't mind babysitting when I was single, it was something to do especially after all my class married and had kids. I sometimes even let myself pretend that I was married, with kids, doing the school run in a mini van (oh, the glamour!). I'd smile and dream about the future. Now its apparent that my future isn't quite like I expected, and for some reason I find being asked to babysit very insensitive ("It's easy for you to just pack up and move in for Shabbos"). Perhaps I'm oversensitive, just like the women around me who have a baby ever year and expect me to step in when they get tired, are insensitive, spoiled and immature.
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3 comments:
Oh, poor you. I don't get how people can do things like that. I would never leave my kids with someone who didn't seem happy about the idea.
Guilt-tripped into it just isn't enough for me...
I think it is cruel to ask someone who is struggling to have children, to take care of their kids. You are right for feeling hurt. You are not the first and last person that is able to do it. :(
Thanks for your comments NAJM. I'm feeling a little better. I'm sorry that people in your community are so insensitive. People can be so thoughtless sometimes!!
-UrbanEnnui
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